Food for thought: Because I love a good conversation that breaks down social conditioning…and let’s face it my generation is pretty selfish and entitled.

We live in a society where the phrase “I don’t owe you” and “You don’t owe anyone” is a common self-help tool.

I’ve come to the personal conclusion that this might be a potentially toxic mindset

that is highly detrimental to maintaining respect, responsibility, and integrity within relationships. What would happen if we switched it around?

“No one owes you”

So let’s do a little imagination exercise. Pretend with me, for a moment, that nobody owes you anything.

The thought experiment is this:

Nobody (that means no one, no person dead or alive, no entity, no organization, no institution, no being or group of beings)

Owes (is obligated to, should, ought to, has a duty to, is responsible for, or in any way is morally ethically legally or existentially indebted to you or required to give you anything)

You (that’s you, the individual)

Anything (that literally means anything: tangible or intangible, physical or spiritual, past present or future)

Nobody owes you anything.

How does that feel? What does that mean? What would that change about your life, if this idea were real? If it went beyond your imagination and applied to your actual day-to-day existence?

What if….

the government did not owe you health care or a better taxation system or equal representation or social change or updated policies or sensible laws or a fair judiciary system

your neighbors did not owe you courtesy

your landlord did not owe you a grace

period on your rent

your parents did not owe you a good childhood

people in general did not owe you an offense-free interaction

your kids did not owe you respect

your partner did not owe you connection or honesty or faithfulness

your boss did not owe you a paycheck

your mechanic did not owe you an honest assessment or a fair price

your peers did not owe you inclusion

your workplace did not owe you fair wages, decent hours, or a safe work environment

your school did not owe you an education

What if nobody owes you anything, and you have to get what you want for yourself?

I’m not saying that’s true, of course. Ridiculous idea.

But what if…

What if you held on to this thought for a while? As an experiment.

See what happens in your life when you quit thinking that people owe you things.

See what happens when you ask instead of expect. Maybe we could make room to give and receive beautiful gifts from each other.

Maybe we could find our way to gratitude.